Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
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