My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The air was thick with penises
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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