The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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