I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish I only lived at night.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you win again, gameday.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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