Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
