You made me cry and you don't even care
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
