every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
