and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Houston, we have a squirter
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
