So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I understand Curling. That high.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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