I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
