I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize