there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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