i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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