I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
