I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
