I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
