Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
