my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
there was a trapeze. enough said
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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