oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
