I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
