it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I deserve this hangover.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
