I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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