1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
