If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
