Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
