Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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