what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize