Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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