Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
