Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
