..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
