So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
