trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
