then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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