so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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