You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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