My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
