Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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