At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
