is your mom at the bar?
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
