i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize