dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
