We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Randomize
