Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
