everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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