love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
