ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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