More tranny stories later!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Operation Purity has been aborted
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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