Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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