I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
