So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
