My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
