the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
