She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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