i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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