Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize