grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
