Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
