If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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