Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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