xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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