dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
