Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
