Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
