So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
